Patience

Keeping up with myself is hard.

I've realized that I need to make more of an effort to live my life the way I want, to have the kinds of experiences I want to have. Getting to that point means that I'll have to do quite a few things that I really don't want to do, but it will all be worth it in the end right? That's what everyone says. "Good things come to those who wait"-is it really true? I'm impatient. that's why I have trouble enjoying the moment sometimes. the moments I don't enjoy are the moments when I'm doing something I don't want to do, wishing I was doing something I did. life is extremely difficult when you're always caught up in your feelings, you're always hung up on the future, the day when you can finally be free of everything you feel is oppressing you. I'm a part of my own problem. How can I focus on the good? How can I make that second nature? Why am I so damn miserable in the first place? Who the hell hurt me? I'm 23 and I'm learning about life the hard way, and today I learned that patience is indeed a virtue, one that I'm lacking.

*Deep sigh*

-back to the drawing board